Nepal: take the local bus

Is it really possible that I’m writing this blog post about a bus ride? When I start writing, I often begin in the middle of a post with whatever comes to mind first, then add on, revise, etc. But, we spent a full month in Nepal, three weeks of it hiking everyday and seeing some of the most amazing scenery we’ve ever seen in our lives. So I surprised even myself when the first thing that came to mind was our time on the local buses! With that, I promise to tell you about the rest of our time as it was a truly spectacular experience. But, you’ll have to bear with me through a post on the bus rides first.

Of course, it’s not really fair to you that I jump from the entirety of our Istanbul experience to a bus ride in Nepal. I’m not exactly setting the scene nor the motivation. So, if you’re feeling that you’d like a bit more orientation to our Nepal travels, click here for an overview. It’s okay. I’ll wait.

Back? Oh good. Onto the bus! The local bus. The local bus just before Dashain, a major Nepali festival. The local bus during a major fuel crisis (and now a medical crisis as well).

To be honest, we were expecting it to be much worse than it was. Our wonderful guide, Deepak (more on him in a later post), wrangled us all seats on a bus, even after warning us that a bus might not be available at all for trekkers due to the fuel crisis. We sat towards the front, and the seats were cushioned!

Then the ride began. It began with Nepali music. Pop music. At full volume through bad speakers (Turkey’s call to prayer speakers were in fact Bose-y compared to these). Bless, bless, bless the earplugs we remembered to keep with us. We could actually enjoy some of the music with earplugs in. I for one definitely chair danced along to a few songs. And the accompanying music videos shown on a tiny screen at the front of the bus (still totally sexual in nature, but with women in low cut peasant dresses working the fields) nicely rounded out our en route entertainment.

As if we needed anything more entertaining than the ride and the views out our window. We rocked severely side to side over the dirt and rocks as we departed the bus station, a long line of buses just off the road, and found pavement. The initial drive through Kathmandu in the early morning light – did I mention this bus departed at 6:30 am – a city under construction, complete with monkeys climbing the walls. Our first views of beautiful hills covered in fields. The precipitous cliffs we careened around as we followed the winding road. The small towns we drove through. The other buses we passed, loaded to the giggles with people and goats. And, the religious menagerie lining the dashboard. These were all plenty entertaining enough. Of course, my anxiety about such rides goes up proportionally to the number of religious figurines lining the dashboard. Thankfully our driver seemed aware that his deities weren’t going to drive for him.

After only one hour, we stopped for a bathroom break. Really, a squatty potty break. Most of the potties are squatties here. Western toilets are still a bit of a luxury, though we did enjoy that luxury more than we thought. After another hour we stopped again – this time for a squatty potty and tea break! And, then we stopped a third time. We’re scientists, folks. We can recognize a pattern developing when we see one. We broke our rule of liquid deprivation and downed a good amount of water, ready to pee at the next break. Pattern broken. We didn’t stop again. For four hours. We were practically in tears getting off the bus.

Additionally, our bus left Kathmandu with all seats taken and a few people standing. As we made stops many many many more people got on. Clown car style. The bus looks much smaller than the number of people it can fit. Most were on their way to visit family in their home villages, all dressed quite nicely (for the festival, we’re assuming). One stop saw us loading up with not only more people but several 50 lbs bags of rice as well. Yay! rice bags = more seats for people! They were all very kind to us, chatting a bit in English when they could, and a little Nepali when they couldn’t. Not a single one seemed perturbed that foreigners were taking up seats (and on a different local bus ride later kindly gestured for us to take seats first when they became available). Of course, the number of butts and armpits in our faces (okay, Brian’s and Jenny’s faces as I was on the window side and mostly grateful for it) was, well, let’s just say we were nauseatingly ready to depart when we finally reached our stop, 7 hours after boarding.

Finally, there were the few super gross instances, which can’t go un-noted. I’m not sure which moment on our crazy bus ride was truly the more gross one, so I thought I’d leave it up to you to vote on. Was it

• the moment the carsick woman in the seat in front of us half hocked, half dry heaved out her bus window and I didn’t close mine fast enough so caught some of it in the face as it flew back in our window (btw, this poor woman – we felt deep sympathy for her – was hocking most of the ride, so I think statistically I was going to get hit by something at some point), or
• the moment Jenny and I both caught some random spray of liquid (again in the face) that immediately took on the odor of goat pee?

I claim it as no small miracle that we didn’t get sick from either episode. And, I can assuredly say that was the first time I’ve rubbed hand sanitizer all over my face.

So my advice for a truly cultural experience is this: take a local bus at least once in Nepal. Everyone will direct you to take the tourist bus (sometimes only marginally different from the local bus), but take the local bus. To understand the kindness of Nepali people, the craziness of the driving, the clown car nature of each bus, the extreme decibel level of the Nepali music screaming out of the speakers just above your head, and the truly entertaining accompanying music videos, take the local bus. You will hold your breath careening around every hairpin turn and be genuinely excited, and a little surprised, when your bus then rocks back into a fully upright position. The sky does in fact look bluer and the grass greener at the end of a Nepali bus ride. Oh yes, and take earplugs… and maybe some Dramamine.